Heat the oven to 350°F (180°C) and position a rack in the middle of the oven. Generously butter and flour (or spray with baking spray) two 9-inch round baking pans, tapping out any excess flour. Line each pan with parchment paper rounds. Butter or spray a large wire rack. Set aside.
In a large bowl with a wooden spoon (surely you have one of those, yes?) or spatula, stir together the 2 cups granulated sugar, 1 ¾ cups all-purpose flour ¾ cup Hershey's Cocoa, 2 tablespoons instant espresso, 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder, 1 ½ teaspoons baking soda, and 1 teaspoon salt. Make a well in the center.
Plop the 2 large eggs into the well and pour in the 1 cup whole milk, ½ cup mild vegetable oil, and 2 teaspoons vanilla extract. Using a handheld electric mixer (c'mon, surely you still have one of those, too?!), beat the ingredients on medium-high speed for 2 minutes.
Stir in the 1 cup boiling water. The batter will appear alarmingly thin but fear not, that's the way it should be.
Pour the batter into the prepared pans, dividing it evenly, about 1 pound, 8 ounces (680g) in each pan.
Bake the cakes for 30 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of each cake comes out clean. Cool the cakes in the pans on the buttered wire rack for 10 minutes. Then invert the cakes onto the rack, remove the pans, turn the cakes right side up, and let them cool completely.